How students can forgive, let go of grudges, and free themselves from the past.
Carrying a grudge, holding onto anger and resentment toward someone who hurt you, is a heavy burden, and while the hurt may be completely justified, the ongoing resentment often harms you more than the person you resent, since you are the one carrying it. Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood but freeing things you can do, and understanding what it really means makes it far more possible.
First, it is important to understand what forgiveness is and is not. Forgiveness does not mean saying what happened was okay, excusing harmful behaviour, forgetting, or necessarily reconciling with the person or letting them back into your life. It is not primarily for their benefit. Rather, forgiveness is mainly about releasing yourself from the ongoing grip of resentment and anger, so that you are no longer carrying the weight of the hurt and letting it poison your present. You can forgive someone for your own peace while still acknowledging the wrong, protecting yourself from them, and not restoring the relationship. Understanding this frees forgiveness from feeling like a betrayal of yourself or an approval of the wrong.
The reason letting go matters is that holding a grudge keeps you tied to the pain and the person, replaying the hurt and letting resentment quietly affect your mood, outlook, and even other relationships, so the grudge continues to cost you long after the event. Forgiving, or at least working toward releasing the resentment, frees your own energy and peace. Practically, forgiveness is often a gradual process rather than a single decision, so allow yourself to fully acknowledge and feel the hurt first, since you cannot genuinely release what you have not honestly faced. Try to understand, without excusing, that people who hurt others often act from their own pain, limitations, or circumstances, which can soften the resentment. Then consciously choose, over time, to release the grip of anger, not for their sake but for your own freedom, and redirect your energy toward your present and future rather than the past wound. Where the hurt is deep, this takes time and sometimes support, and that is okay. Letting go of a grudge is ultimately a gift you give yourself, the gift of no longer carrying pain that only weighs you down, and it is one of the most liberating things you can do for your own peace.
Example: Someone holding resentment realises the grudge is weighing mainly on their own peace, chooses over time to release the anger for their own freedom while still protecting themselves from the person, and feels lighter for it.
One practical tip: Forgiveness is mainly about freeing yourself from the grip of resentment, not excusing the wrong or reconciling, so you can forgive for your own peace while still protecting yourself. Holding a grudge harms you most, so releasing it is a gift you give yourself.